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Blessed Holy Triduum

April 2, 2015

A very blessed Triduum! I had the great privileged of starting lent attending a weekend women’s silent retreat. In God’s great goodness the message for my soul was simple – “Fight to find your prayer – not like it used to be but like it’s called to be now as a mom to littles and quickly growing bigs.” Hhhhhmmmmm. What does that mean? Well, it means committing to a weekly holy hour and doing it with Katie. We lost the fight last week and this week we moved what seemed to be mountains to get there, but golly God is so good! Plans changed again this morning and required another opportunity to fight for the promised hour of prayer. Papa graciously entertained Elizabeth, Clare & Michael which left a sleeping baby to accompany Katie & I.

Yep. Any betting momma knows to put money on the odds that said sleeping baby would quickly wake. Cha-ching! You’d be a winner as he did indeed wake upon walking through the chapel doors. Surely, the angels in adoration were the ones that had woke him. God has the most perfect plan all along.

My prayer materials weren’t found before leaving the house, a baby in arms meant no sitting anyway, so a walk around the chapel’s perimeter praying the Stations of the Cross was the perfect opportunity. Sadly, it’s been a very long time since I’ve prayed the stations without a printed meditation. I should seriously do it more often!

My mind was clearly still pondering a letter I’d read before even putting my feet to the floor this morning. It was in those moments that God began to center my day, unbeknownst to me of course. You can read this incredibly beautiful letter HERE.

Being a mom to many and three littles has it’s definite challenges. Every. Second. Of. Every. Day. It’s this very circus that has given me excuses to stray from my concentrated prayers these last months and years.

As I held our 6 month old and made my journey from one station to the next, a common theme emerged over and over…do I see this story, this example of love, through the lens of a spouse & mother or through the eyes of my children and what they see in me? Both. Both indeed.

Several stations really spoke to me, but this one had such a clear, stick-with-me message, that I had to share it here as so many of my friends are in the trenches with fighting for healthy marriages in a society that tries to ruin that at every turn, homeschooling our children, caring for very young children, and trying to foster community outside the house. All of them in themselves could be full-time jobs, but together it can quickly feel like insanity.

20150402_100845I was pondering how Jesus had fallen three times already and how the soldiers had been there as he struggled for strength and perseverance in this cross that was “forced” upon him. What was their reaction? Were they growing more cruel or was it possible their hearts were being touched and softening, even if just a little. Did any of the persecutors realize who was suffering under the weight of this cross? How is it then that I present myself in times of similar struggle? When the cross gets too hard to carry, when there is so much chaos and little voices making all sorts of noise around me, how do I respond? Do I grow in my anger and annoyance making the moments even more void of grace, or do I choose to soften my heart, my tone, my body language and present a different perspective? Surely a perspective of love would ease Christ’s cross and change the outcome of my own family’s course.

20150402_101958Jesus is stripped of his clothes. As I stepped up to this station there was a very lovely elderly woman’s voice who greeted us. I turned to see a delightful southern woman who was so happy to engage with a smiling, lovable Max. She was so sweet to not waste an extra second asking to hold him. Of course. I love the opportunity to give others the chance to hold a baby. There’s something very beautiful about such an opportunity. In this case, I was so delighted to have a few moments of prayer without balancing Max. Confident that the arms holding Max were indeed strong enough and willing to take him, I turned back to this station. Jesus was stripped of his clothes…the things of earth. I realized in this moment as my arms were empty that these days of babies and mothering young lives were fleeting. My time here in this stage was going to be over in the blink of an eye. Would I live it with grace and the gift of memories worth reliving or would I fall under the pressures of the devil…the little things that cut through our day and distract us from eternal pursuits. I walk into this Triduum with a renewed focus upon the details of my time with the kids.

20150402_101608One last time her arms were full as she held her son in death. She rested with him near her heart, surely his head tucked up under chin. (I love my babies there! They fit just so perfectly.) She rested! He opened the gates of eternal life and rested in eternity, his rightful home. There are so many moments that I need to rest with my children. I need to sit. I need to invite them to sit. I need to slow down! I step into this triduum I’ll look for the ways in which we are called to slow down.

Thank you Jesus for all things wrapped into these precious three days. Give me the grace not to waste any moment of grace you have to offer me, my family, this world! Have mercy upon us.

Thank you Katie Girl for sharing these moments of prayer with me! I love you…my not so little first born!

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One Comment leave one →
  1. mom/granna permalink
    April 4, 2015 12:50 pm

    Amen

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